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Most women have split personalities when it comes to finding out about this secret.
On the one hand they know guys that fit onto the last two groups listed in the header.
On the other hand, when it comes to their guy - well, he always is in the first group - of course.
So for many women this secret can be a challenge! But - as we did for the first secret - lets consider the difference that knowing this makes.
First up - I'd like to tell you about something I discovered but had no clue about till I started to do extensive research:
There are many species of
animals that have what is called: mixed mating strategies.
I was taught that in some species the male was monogamous (birds, for
example) and in others he would be polygamous - if he
was the strongest male,
right!(lions, for example)
But it turns out that for some types of animals the males of that
species can have one of three possible mating styles: they can can be either
monogamous, polygamous or be a "sneak" (more of this last one later).
And they are born this way.
They don't change their style according to circumstances or opportunity, they are born with one of these mating
styles - and that's it! (It seems that having males within a
species with differnet mating styles has resulted in the best
survival of their species)
Although there are many mammal and bird and reptile species that
researchers have identified as having this mixed mating style, the one
I like best is the side blotched lizard lizard. And that's because in
the side blotched lizard the men come color coded!!
Blue necks are the monogamous males, Orange necks are the polygamous
males that have a harem of females and then there is the yellow
neck - or sneaky male.
How great would it be if human males came color coded.
Fortunately, there are
(fairly easy) ways that we can tell which males belong in what group -
and that is covered in my book in detail!
But for now, consider the sneaky yellow neck lizard - and see if this description rings any bells.....
The male yellow neck is not interested in mating - as such. He does not
set up a territory or attempt to attract a female with his strength or
resources. The yellow neck sneaks into the nests of other males, gets a
female preggers, if possible, then scarpers - leaving the orange or
blue neck male to raise his young!
Now this is a neat mating strategy for the yellow neck male. He needs
no resources, makes no "commitment" and can continue to mate with as
many girl lizards as he can.
Ringing any bells for you? In fact, there are many examples of orange
and yellow neck males in our society - some very famous ones at that. You can find more details in chapter 2 of my book
So think about it....
If we continue to act as if all males are monogamous but thet are NOT,
then we are going to make some terrible mistakes.
So it is definately worth looking at the evidence and finding out how
to tell which males are monogamous (or polygamous if that is your
prefernce, as it most definately is for some women)
And most women definately want to avoid the "yellow neck" males!!
For reasons I give in
my book, I estimate that - as for the spotted lizard - human males are
distributed roughly evenly between the three possible types.
So that means that 2/3 of men are probably not manogomous by nature. So, try as they might, being monogamous just is not going to happen.
Because we have lost what I like to call our "selector fitness", we no longer have an accurate idea of which guys are worth selecting.
The truth is that most women can not tell which guys are "blue necks", which are "orange necks" and which are "yellow necks"
And we end up with really bad results
And this brings us to the other secrets we MUST know if we are to have a happy love life.
You can find out more about the second secret from my book...
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