"How To Tell Which GuysMake Great Mates"

              Samples from Chapter 8


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• Mate Guarding as a clue to mate-quality

Mate guarding can be regarded as a marker for mate quality. In chapter 6 we found that monogamous mate guarding behavior in the wild is:

• deliberate,
• consistent,
• continuous,
• mutually maintained, and
• mutually beneficial

action aimed at ensuring the long-term viability of the relationship.

This is what healthy monogamous mate-guarding looks like in the wild.

Healthy mate-guarding in polygamous animals, we saw, involves keeping other males away from a fertile female.

Dominance/aggression allows the male to keep other males from fertilizing his female. For the polygamous male in nature, mate guarding revolves around his relationships with other males.

What I find interesting about these reports from naturalists – which are often extensive and detailed - is the lack of any evidence that animal males behave in a manner that can be described as “jealous”. Yet
several prominent studies into human mate guarding have focused on “jealous” behavior as the human equivalent to mate guarding.

The teachings of the professional PUAs help us to resolve this dilemma.

Because the professional PUA deliberately targets these kinds of behavior in their “boyfriend destroyer” strategies.

What they have discovered is that these behaviors signal “weakness” in a male. By deliberately (but apparently sympathetically) focusing on these kinds of behaviors of her boyfriend/husband, the PUA is able to
destroy any attraction she has for her guy.

What sort of behaviors are weak mate guarding strategies (used by PUAs to destroy attraction)?
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The following is a list of examples of self-reported behaviors from males that indicated their way of mate-guarding:
* call her unexpectedly to see who she was with
* have her friends check up on her
* drop by unexpectedly to see what she was doing
* not let her out of his sight when out together
* not take her out when other males would be present
* spend all his free time with her so that she cannot meet other males
* pointing out the flaws in other males


What all of these types of “mate guarding” actions have in common is that they signal insecurity in the male. They are actions taken because the guy has not engaged in the kind of healthy mate guarding behaviors outlined earlier in this chapter. They are reactions to signals that he is getting from his female that she is likely to stray.

Notice that none of these actions meet the standard of healthy mate guarding set by monogamous males in nature. They are not, for example, mutually maintained or mutually beneficial (as, for example, is mutual grooming). And – as the PUA proves when he uses his BF destroyer routine - they don’t work!

Healthy mate guarding behavior is a “marker” for mate quality for females in nature. Can we regard the secret use of electronic devices hidden in a female’s panties to track her movements as a sign of healthy mate-guarding? Can we regard the use of surgery to remove the feelings of pleasure in sex as a form of healthy mate guarding?

Interestingly, these and other methods described in chapter 6 focus on violence and/or invasion of females rights. They are completely at variance with how mate guarding is carried out by males in the natural kingdom – whether monogamous or polygamous!

Healthy mate guarding behavior then, not only signals mating strategy but also signals a guys mate competence or fitness.
  
       

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